f° = degrees of freedom. This is a term borrowed from statistics.
The desk is the repoistory of white-washed memories, it may be opened or not as you wish. Actions conscious and unconscious are governed by events that have happened in the past. It is only when these memories enter the sphere of the conscious that informed choices are made.
The video represents the vulnerability and uncertainty of childhood. This piece played continuously on a white monitor on top of a white desk is intended to entice viewers to enter the exhibition space.
The presence of the video then creates an unresolved question by blocking off any information as to which curtain should be passed through. It mirrors the confusing and conflicting situations that have to be negotiated in childhood, and the growth of self awareness.
The hospital trolley is an altered 'ready made' and has been placed in the light, i.e. it is intended to be both visible as a trolley, but situated in a specific exhibition space takes on the authority of a 'work of art'. In hospital the trolley would carry equipment for tending the sick. Here it is changed by the addition of the book and the mirrored surfaces. The images in the book recount real events experienced at the end of life in terms of metaphor and allegory. The viewer is invited to turn the pages of the book.
The trolley is placed so that when first observed the outside world is reflected in its mirrored surfaces. The images in the book are simultaneously of the outside and of the inner world. They are of the last walk and also of the first and chart the choices that can be made when no choices are apparent. The inscription on the front of the book - 'I shall come to you' - refers both to the desire for immortality and the universal nature of death. When the book is closed the viewer sees themselves reflected in the mirrored surfaces. The turning of the pages results in the transfer of the image into the dark space; the transfer alters the image in scale and nature.
The book rests on the upper shelf of the trolley which is placed in a clean white and light space. The viewer is invited to select any page of the book that they choose. The viewer who enters the dark space first has no control over the selection of the images and sees them in a different context to the viewer in the light space. However, the viewer in the light space will have limited knowledge of the displaced consequences of their actions when they turn the pages of the book.
The photographs within the book are of a park in Essex designed by Capability Brown. Overlaying the photographs are semi-transparent pages, some are inscribed with lines from a poem. I discovered this poem after my mother had died. It was one of many copied out by my mother in a small red book, this one, unlike the others, has no author and was titled May 29th 1942. May 29th was my mums' birthday. In september 1999 my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, with 2 months left to live. Part of the week I looked after her, we had 2 hours nursing help every morning and during this time I took this walk. Always the same every day, the walk seemed to mirror the stages that my mother was going through and so I recorded it, in colour, sound and black and white.
My mother always believed that the world should be a certain way, unfortunately it was not the way the world often was. We had many conversations about this, in her 70's by studying philosophy, literature and religion mum was still expecting the answers from somewhere. She died with great courage and a lot of love.
Although part of this work originated with the death of my mother, it is intended to be about the choices facing us all.
The double gaze examines the act of self reflection. Indentical couples signify the different paths that individuals may take, as well as the influence of the genetic versus the environmental in the formation of individuality. The gaze looking out is slightly blinded and obscured by the reflection of the images from the outside. In contrast the viewers view of their own self is completely blinded by the absence of the mirror. The viewer is therefore only seen on the clouded retina of the gaze.
The slide projection refers to the operation of factors outside the control of the viewer. The images bear a resemblance to the images over which there is choice, but in reality run to their own pattern.
